Krause: Fights happen, buy they’re still unacceptable

It’s almost instinctive. If someone hits you, you hit back. If someone disrespects you, you take umbrage and you show it.This shouldn’t be very hard to understand. But as we get older, and stronger, and more mature, than we were as little kids – when these instincts are developed and, often, encouraged – it becomes important that we temper our desire to reciprocate against all manners of slights ? and channel it appropriately.Hence, when the Celtics’ Glenn Davis is heckled by a fan, and “Big Baby” responds with an expletive that goes out all over the country, the NBA is absolutely correct in fining him $25,000 for his immaturity ? as it did Thursday.And, when – during the post-game (so-called) sportsmanship handshake – a player from one side of another either violates some arcane protocol, or even maybe gets a little physical, the better course of action is to walk away. Or perhaps, in the case of the St. Mary’s boys hockey team, skate away.I know walking away is an anathema to some – particularly, it would seem, adolescent males. In too many cases, retaliation is somehow seen as a validation of manhood. And Lord knows there are just too many examples in professional sports where – despite risking penalties and/or suspensions – “getting even” is seen as somehow noble.All you have to do is watch a baseball game where a batter on the Red Sox is hit by a pitch and, naturally, Boston’s pitcher reciprocates ? and is often ejected from the game.Hockey has cultivated enforcers who do nothing but dog opposing players who dare to hit their high scorers. Hard fouls in basketball, or hard hits in football, are almost always followed by the obligatory stare downs (and often more).It’s easy to see how a high school player might decide, in the heat of the moment, that such actions are warranted if a player from the other team gets out of line at an inappropriate time (which had to have been what happened Wednesday night at Connery when the Spartans and Arlington Catholic staged a huge, post-game brawl that resulted in 10 suspensions ? five from each team). He’s seen such things all his life.But I say (and obviously the MIAA agrees) that it takes much more courage to walk away. And that’s what the state athletic association is aiming to instill into its teenage participants: that there is no place, and no justification (especially at this level), for any action that results in 10 players getting ejected from a game.As a result of Wednesday’s fracas, both St. Mary’s and Arlington Catholic must forfeit their next games (for the Spartans that would be Saturday at Gloucester). In addition, MIAA rules say teams with three or more game misconducts in the course of a season are ineligible for post-season play – a severe blow a team such as St. Mary’s, which enjoys a strong, and very positive, hockey identity.It’s tough to recall too many other instances around here where teams have been forced, pre-game, to take forfeits. Most of the time, forfeits occur because a school – post-game – has been found to be in violation of the rules.But that’s how seriously the MIAA takes its efforts to control violence in its sports, and you have to respect it for that.You also have to respect St Mary’s – from head of school Ray Bastarache on down – for its understanding of this ethic, and its refusal to make excuses for what happened. It should go without saying that the school supports its athletes, but support shouldn’t always translate into enabling. And it’s refreshing to see a school that chooses not to play that game.The St. Mary’s administration has the option of appealing its tournament-ineligible status – something Bastarache says he’ll consider if the team can complete the season without incurring any further suspensions. Meantime, he says, the incident should be a valuable life lesson.I agree. Let it serve as a warning to everyone that it is no assault on manhood to walk away. And if anyone disagrees with that, I’ll be happy to give them Thomas Junta’s a