Swampscott’s ‘Remembering Ruthy’ team preps for N.S. Cancer Walk

SWAMPSCOTT – Friends and family remember Ruthy Paster as generous, selfless and dedicated to her loved ones.Sunday at the North Shore Cancer Walk, the “Remembering Ruthy” team will demonstrate its dedication to Paster.”This is what she did,” said Ruthy’s daughter Haley Paster. “There wasn’t one fundraiser that she wasn’t a part of and I’ve gotten to know a lot of women who all loved her ? Keeping her memory and spirit alive has been therapeutic for me.”Paster died Feb. 11 after a long struggle with breast cancer.Team Remembering Ruthy members originally gathered in March and decided that they wanted to honor Paster’s memory, coworker and friend, Jude Toner said.Remembering Paster’s dedication to local organizations such as Aviv Centers for Living, Swampscott Senior Center, Temple Emanu-El and Swampscott athletics, they decided to honor her by holding a silent auction on June 7 to raise money for the North Shore Cancer Walk.In the process, they helped each other heal.”We told a lot of stories, had a lot of laughs, a lot of cries,” said Toner. “But we also had a lot of energy to be part of something so big ? It’s a crappy disease, but anything you can do to raise money, even $5, helps.”The team has raised $39,626 in donations for the walk, which makes it the top fundraiser, according to Annie Grant, a spokesperson for the walk.Half of the money was raised in the auction.”We way exceeded the capacity of the room,” Toner recalled. “It was something else. You felt like she was there with us ? It affirmed everything I felt about Ruthy to see that she had touched other people the same way as she had touched me.”But the process has been difficult at times.Haley Paster remembered the first meeting the group held to discuss how to best honor her mother’s memory. It was held at the Sagan Agency Realtors office where Toner and Paster both worked.”I sat in the car for awhile before I could come in,” she said.Haley Paster and Toner said that few people knew the pain and suffering that Ruthy Paster endured.Toner recalled her friend coming to work every day while undergoing chemotherapy in Boston.She said that Paster was on the phone while being wheeled into surgery when the cancer had spread to her spine.”She was a very private person,” Toner explained. “She didn’t want people to look at her any differently.”In fact, Haley Paster said that she didn’t even learn about her mother’s initial treatment for breast cancer until years later.Paster had been diagnosed with breast cancer the day before her daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, Haley Paster explained. She didn’t tell her children, and underwent chemotherapy while both of her children were away at summer camp, Haley Paster said.”The last thing my mom wanted was for us to rearrange our lives,” she said.But during the last year of her life, Toner said that Paster slowly let her daughter become her mother’s “advocate” and assumed many of her roles. That has also helped with the healing, both Toner and Haley Paster said.”She has the same ‘no problem’ attitude,” Toner said of Haley Paster. “She’s nurturing, she takes care of her family, and she looks exactly like her mom.”Haley Paster said that hearing such comparisons made her feel “awesome.””She had such a strong presence and made all the decisions,” she explained. “When she was weak at the end, it was really hard for her, and that she could slowly let [her friends and family] in was really big. It was the best experience ever.”Haley Paster said it was only natural.”I’d watched her do that for other people,” she said. “You just get it done. You just do it.”The North Shore Cancer Walk will be held Sunday at Salem Willows. Registration begins at 7:30 a.m.; the walk begins at 8 a.m.To register for the walk or make donations in Paster’s memory, visit nsmcgiving.partners.org/rememberingruthy.