Author gives Marblehead a talk on manners

MARBLEHEAD – Proper etiquette was the topic of discussion on Tuesday night at Abbot Public Library as author and etiquette consultant Jodi R.R. Smith spoke about her recent book “The Etiquette Book: A Complete Guide to Modern Manners.”?The Etiquette Book” is a reference book for anyone wondering what the polite thing to do is in any given situation from writing a thank you note to who pays when you are on a date.?When people think of etiquette they think of sitting up straight and being prim and proper,” Smith said. “That isn?t what etiquette is in my opinion. Etiquette is being confident in yourself and being able to make others around you feel comfortable.”Smith began teaching people about etiquette as she was working in human resources for several companies. “People would come into my office and close the door and right away I would know to grab a box of tissues. We would talk about their careers and why they weren?t going the way they hoped,” said Smith. “I would then later talk to their bosses and maybe even their co-workers. I would find that these people were bright and good at their job but they just weren?t good at their job with other people.”The author started to teach etiquette classes for the companies she worked for. “Of course, I never called them etiquette classes. I would call it new skills for emerging leaders. It?s all in the marketing,” Smith said. Eventually, these classes became so popular that Smith left human resources and started her own company, Mannersmith, where she goes around to colleges and companies teaching others about etiquette.Since then she has written three books and has made appearances on Good Morning America and The Today Show. “It is all about teaching people to be nice to each other,” Smith said.While at Abbot Library Smith answered attendees? questions about etiquette. The importance of sending a thank you was talked about throughout the night. “If someone cared enough to give you a gift, you need to write a thank you note,” Smith said. In an age where technology and the ways to communicate with each other are rapidly changing, some wondered if it was proper to send a thank you note via email. “Emailing a thank you note says you cared enough to do the very least,” Smith said. Smith believes that thank you notes always should be hand written. “Not only are thank you notes the polite thing to do but it is a signal. It is like a secret handshake that shows people you know the ways to behave in polite society,” Smith said.Another question many wondered was if you are invited to a celebratory event like a christening, are you obligated to bring a gift? “Invitations are not an invoice,” Smith said. “If you are invited to a celebratory event you must do something even if it is just a card. You have to do something.”Smith encourages people to teach others etiquette, especially young people. “If you don?t teach people where are they going to get it from?” Smith said.The etiquette queen believes it is important to be polite to everyone, however, there is one exception. “You don?t need to be polite to telemarketers,” Smiths joked.If anyone has any questions concerning etiquette, Smith can be reached through her website www.mannersmith.com