Tips to avoid traffic driving into Boston

I remember an episode of “The Honeymooners” TV show when Ralph Kramden, bragging as usual, realized he?d painted himself into a corner.That?s about when he turns to his sidekick, Ed Norton, and says, “I got a big mouth.”Well ?Monday, my boss, Victor DeRubeis, drove from Lynn to Boston as part of The Daily Item?s great commuter race. The idea was to see who could arrive at a preordained destination first: commuters who took the new ferry, those who took the T, and those who drove. Victor was driving. Call it “Boats, Trains and Automobiles.”Victor, keeping us apprised on social media, said he was stuck in traffic while he was still in East Boston. In response, I wised off and told him that if he?d just asked me, I?d have gotten him to Boston much faster. So he challenged me to share my secrets.Oh, yeah ? like I?m going to tell anyone my super-secret way to get to Boston traffic-free. Not a chance. Otherwise, everyone would go that way and there would be traffic.Of course, there are no secrets. Driving to or from Boston during rush hours (defined around here as “all day long”) is a colossal pain. You don?t avoid traffic, but you can at least minimize it so that when the inevitable finally happens, you may be a little calmer.Victor showed us a picture of the McClellan Highway in East Boston, which – at 8:15 – can be bumper to bumper if you?re in a bad light cycle.Here?s the thing: There are only two direct highways going into Boston from the North Shore: the expressway and McClellan. All other routes are ridiculously circuitous, and even if you go that far out of your way to avoid the traffic hot spots, they present their own problems. I ought to know. I?ve tried them all. Driving through Everett to avoid the expressway makes you want to shoot someone. There seems to be a traffic light every 10 feet on Broadway.I?ve gone via Route 16 and even hit Boston via the McGrath and O?Brien Highway. It?s a very long route, but the traffic can be little less taxing.(But you have to understand me. I hate traffic. I?d rather the drive take 15 minutes longer as long as I?m not sitting in traffic.)But my secret, if you want to call it that, is to avoid the ancillary traffic snarls before you hit the ones you cannot avoid. This is why if I?m in downtown Lynn, I find Summer Street and go all the way up to Austin Square, proceed onto Boston Street/Lincoln Avenue all the way through Cliftondale Square, and hit the expressway on the Revere/Malden line. It?s usually clear sailing until you hit the Tobin Bridge. And even though we now have to account for the extra time for bridge work, it?s still better than being stuck in traffic all the way from before Wonderland, through the McClellan Highway, to the airport road.In fact, I?ll go one step further. Do not go that way. Ever. That?s my secret.That circle at Wonderland is a hodgepodge of traffic lights and funky road design. Traffic generally starts piling up long before you even see Wonderland and it remains bottlenecked all the way past Bell Circle and onto McClellan.But if you do have to go that way, try getting onto the Marsh Road via Ballard Street in Saugus (again, finding Summer Street and going right up to Austin Square). The Marsh Road hardly ever has traffic on it (though you might run into a little at Revere Circle). Then, proceed to Bell Circle where, yes, you?ll be backed up ? but you?ll have reached that point about 15 minutes sooner than you would if you took the Lynnway and North Shore Road.These are two tricks of the trade, coming from someone who?s driven to Boston, at all times of the day, for pretty much his entire life.Some others: Acquaint yourselves with back roads. I can?t list every one of them, but if commuting is part of your day, do some homework. And learn the surface roads in Boston too. Some of them aren?t as traffic-clogged as you might think. Of course, if you get lost ? well ? there?s nothing worse than being stuck in traffic and lost.Finally, listen to WBZ?s Traffic on