There were a lot of tired, disconsolate folks in the Item newsroom Monday, stunned that their New England Patriots and miracle man Tom Brady failed to produce the expected last-minute rally against the underdog Philadelphia Eagles in Sunday night’s Super Bowl.
We’re used to winning these games. We’ve been spoiled. But the Patriots didn’t deserve to win. They were outplayed in every facet of this eminently entertaining game by a determined, hungry Philly team. Even Belichick was outcoached. For some reason, this loss didn’t affect me at all. They lost. Oh well; there’s always next year, even with new players and coaches. I was an emotional wreck, in a dark mood for days after the two Super Bowl losses to the dreaded New York Giants, or the double 1986 whammy of the Chicago Bears manhandling the Pats and the Red Sox collapse against the Mets in the World Series.
As a kid, my dad and I suffered through horrendous season after horrendous season by our pro football and baseball teams. When the Red Sox finally won a World Series in 2004, I bought a bottle of Jim Beam, rode my bike to the cemetery, sat at my father’s grave, poured a shot for him and one for myself. “Dad, they finally did it,” I said, sobbing and raising my cup to the heavens, taking a sip of bourbon and pouring his drink into the earth.
I’m guessing there are many Philly fans now doing the same thing at cemeteries throughout Pennsylvania.
But I’m not a sportswriter … or a psychologist. I’m more interested in music and pop culture. So let’s approach the Super Bowl from that perspective. You think the Pats’ defense was awful? Justin Timberlake’s halftime show and the woeful collection of commercials were worse.
Timberlake is a talented entertainer, but bad sound and an over-choreographed presentation doomed this mess of a performance. The tribute to Prince, a ghoulish “duet” of “I Would Die 4 You” with the late music legend, who hailed from Minneapolis, was a good idea that didn’t work. A selection of truncated versions of Timberlake’s many hits fared better, but most of the lyrics were unintelligible, a sacrilege given that the vocals were recorded ahead of time.
At least there were no commercials promoting Timberlake’s new album, “Man of the Woods,” or his upcoming tour (two April shows and a just-announced Oct. 18 date, all at the TD Garden). You’d think a superstar of Timberlake’s stature could’ve negotiated a 30-second spot at the conclusion of his halftime extravaganza.
Ah, the commercials, for which corporations ponied up at least $5 million for a 30-second ad. Sentimentality, inclusion, and humor ruled this year. Overall, the ads were weak and forgettable. But advertising firms and companies shouldn’t fret too much; can you remember a single 2017 Super Bowl ad?
Here’s a quick look at the best and worst of 2018’s Super Bowl commercials:
The best: A series of “Tide ads” starring David Harbour of “Stranger Things” that lampooned some of the all-time great commercials, including the guy on the horse in those old Old Spice commercials. (It sure beats having celebs pop Tide Pods into their mouths); the Doritos/Mountain Dew two-fer featuring “Game of Thrones” star Peter Dinklage and film star Morgan Freeman rapping like Busta Rhymes and Missy Elliott; the NFL ad starring Eli Manning and Odell Beckham Jr. and other Giants’ players having the time of their lives in a “Dirty Dancing” spoof; Australia Tourism’s commercial starring Chris Hemsworth and Danny McBride that at first looked like a teaser for an upcoming “Crocodile Dundee” reboot; Sprint‘s ad featuring robots ridiculing their human “owners” for choosing Verizon and Apple’s “Alexa Loses Her Voice” spot featuring cameos by Rebel Wilson, Jeff Bezos, Cardi B and lots of other people I probably should have known; MassMutual’s tribute to everyday heroes backed by The Pretenders’ song “I’ll Stand By You”; Toyota’s powerful “Good Odds” ad honoring Paralympian Lauren Woolstencroft; Avocados From Mexico’s bio-dome satire.
The best of all: Nowhere to be seen were those Verizon ads featuring that annoying teenage pissant who denigrates grownups for buying the highest-def TV sets without switching to Verizon and that Apple ad where the irritating know-it-all girl asks “What’s a computer?”
Good, but confusing: Keanu Reeves’ motorcycle daredevil ad was terrific, but we never did figure out what it was for; T-Mobile’s cute commercial featuring babies of all nationalities advocating for pay equity, equal rights and diversity … but what does it have to do with a cell phone network?
The worst: The obnoxious M&Ms Danny DeVito ad; both Ram Trucks’ ads, one using a Martin Luther King Jr. speech and another with Vikings singing “We Will Rock You”; Bill Hader stuck in an unfunny Pringles ad; I hate to say it, but those Bud Lite “dilly dilly” funfests have jumped the shark. The two examples aired during the game were nonsensical Monty Python ripoffs.
The worst of all: The 30 seconds of black screen that left us all confused and probably was an expensive mistake for NBC. … On second thought, that might’ve been the best of all the ads.
