For starters I consider myself a person of faith. I choose to believe in God, but I don’t try to shove Him down anyone’s throat, or discriminate if anyone believes in anything or anyone else. As I learned after attending many years of Catholic education, when I’m faced with adversity, I choose to pray to my God, avoid asking “why” is this happening to me, but instead, ask Him “how” can I solve this and, what do You want me to learn from this.
While a “why” question in and of itself is not a bad thing, “why” questions are, to my eyes, pointless. The main reason is because they’re never ending, and don’t help to find a real solution to a crisis. They do, on the other hand, incite multiple opinions from others, and we all know what people say about opinions, right?
OK, back to my point about the inefficiencies of asking why questions; have you ever debated with a 3-year-old about anything? If you haven’t, it goes something like this: Why do I have to eat this? Because I want you to grow strong. Why do you want me to grow strong? Because I want you to someday fulfill your dreams. Why do you want me to fulfill my dreams? Because I want you to be happy, and you go on and on and the questions never end. Every time you ask a “why” question, another question will inevitably follow, so you’ll find yourself caught up in useless opinions and interpretations of your situation, that at the end, take time from proactively seeking a way to deal with it.
In some cases, it’s almost pathetic to ask a “why” question. Senseless “why” questions like: why was there a shooting in a park? Why was there a shooting in Parkland, or Orlando, or — you pick a city. Honestly, there’s not one answer or opinion, as logical, rational and complete as it can be, that would make me feel any better about any of the shootings we’ve experienced during these past months.
Let’s say some of the reasons are that it’s due to someone’s mental health issues. Well, that doesn’t take away from the fact that there are people dead. Let’s say it was someone having a bad day. Once again, it doesn’t erase the death toll, so what’s the point on trying to identify the “why” when the “how” is so much more important.
Questions like why was there a shooting in the city? Why are teenagers acting in a certain way, seem to try to provoke opinions and not solutions.
The senseless acts of violence that we’ve experienced lately at a national level, and that on Saturday, hit home for us, makes me even more certain of the lack of importance of “why” questions and the relevance of instead using how we, as residents, work more proactively on seeking solutions, and less reactively on trying to understand or form opinions about the motives.
I encourage every resident of this city to start thinking actively about things such as: How can I prevent this from happening again? How can I help the ones directly affected? How can I support my children to avoid them getting involved in negative behaviors? How can I become a better advocate for my child’s mental health issues, in order for him/her to be supported and avoid seeing him/her do something drastic while in crisis? How can I be more involved in my kid’s school so he becomes the best version of himself; how can I treat my own mental and emotional needs in order to do better at home and at work, how, how, how. Those are the questions we should be trying to collectively answer as the residents of a city affected by crime, not why. Who cares “why” when all we need to know, is how to stop it.
Carolina Trujillo is Community Relations Director for Essex Media Group. She can be reached at [email protected].
