I haven’t been going out much lately, so I was not at all prepared for the advances directed at me on New Year’s Eve.
It all started when a friend and I decided to cap off 2019 with a night out at Foxwoods’ Scorpion Bar.
Decked out in a black dress with sequins (standard New Year’s attire) that had been stashed in the back of my closet unworn for the past few years, I fully anticipated that I would spend the evening blending in with my surroundings, catching up with my friend, and not attracting any kind of attention.
Boy, was I wrong.
Somehow, each time I went to the bar for a drink, the men there seemed to interpret it as an invitation to start off a conversation with some bad pick-up lines.
I was just looking for a cranberry vodka, but instead I got an inquisition from one man about my ethnicity.
“Are you Russian?” he started off by asking.
After learning I was not, he proceeded to keep guessing, until I finally confirmed that I was American.
The ethnicity question has come up before, which becomes awkward because I’m not entirely sure what the answer is. It’s no wonder those ancestry DNA tests are so popular.
I later returned to the bar for another drink, deciding to switch it up this time with a rum and coke. Unfortunately, another man decided he was going to guess what drink I ordered. I gave him a few tries, but he didn’t come anywhere near the correct answer.
However, I might order one of his guesses, a tequila sunrise, in the future, so it was a somewhat productive discussion.
So, my New Year’s Eve experience got me thinking about the bad pick-up lines other women have endured. Maybe they’ve been told to smile or have been on the receiving end of catcalls from a group of men on the street.
My co-worker, Olivia, a staff photographer, said she routinely deals with pick-up lines when she’s on assignments for work. Many center around the size of her camera, she said.
“That’s a big lens for a small girl,” or “size matters” are just a couple she’s heard in the field.
But it’s not just reserved for work. On New Year’s Eve, she said she was riding in an Uber and told a man standing outside that he had “nice pants.” The man then proceeded to say thanks, “they come off easy.”
Another co-worker, Cheryl, said when she was in her 20s, she visited a rodeo in California when a man asked her: “do you have any cowboy in you?” When she said “no,” the man asked her: “would you like some?”
Another golden opportunity for some appears to be through using online dating apps. A friend told me a man sent her this message last month: “Damn, are you Indian? Cuz I’m really Hindu you.”
Perhaps, I should be thankful the ones I got on New Year’s were relatively tame in comparison. However, back in college, the guys had less shame.
One time, my then-roommate invited me to her friend’s dorm room for a small gathering. His way of introducing himself was to state his name followed by “and there’s my bed.”
Another time, I was attending a party and a guy inexplicably thought it was OK to rate me. I scored a 9. His reasoning was that only women on TV can be a 10.
We’ve all been on the receiving end of these bad pick-up lines. I’d hazard a guess that the success rate is not too high for any of them, but they at least leave the unsuspecting victim with a humorous story to tell.
