I think I heard it first from comedian Jeff Foxworthy. There are only two seasons in New England: “winter” and “under construction.”
But the sentiment has been around for as long as I’ve been around (and that’s a pretty long time). It was in Reader’s Digest, in that section called “Laughter is the Best Medicine,” that I read, “The shortest distance between any two points is usually under construction.”
And that about sums up the summer thus far — I mean other than Phases 2 and 3, and weird weather peaks and valleys. Construction follows us everywhere. And that’s especially true in Lynn, where it seems that the crews know where I’m going to be and set up their equipment to impede my path.
I’ve always thought this. Andrew Hall (Commissioner of Public Works) obviously knows my itinerary. I don’t know how he knows it, but he does. Every time I want to go anywhere, you can be sure something between Point A and Point B will be dug up, with earth-moving equipment strewn around, and either a police officer or a flagman telling me to either stop or proceed.
I’ll tell you how bad it can get. I live on a dead-end street (or, as it is known now in much more chic terms, cul-de-sac) and there were a few days late last year when I couldn’t even get out of my street without dodging pipes and trenches. Something about gas lines.
In the COVID-19 era, I don’t have to drive very often. I’ve filled my gas tank just five times since March.
I just go into my downtown Lynn office for a brief visit, but do most of my work from the confines of my home office in Pine Hill. Yet that simple three- or four-mile journey (if it’s even that long) is fraught with adventure. First, there’s Agganis Square, which is where Federal, Waterhill and Marion Streets come together to form a very awkward (some might say dangerous) intersection. It was a heavily-traveled road even before Market Basket went up on the site of an old General Electric building. A roundabout replaced another badly-planned intersection, this one at Market Square, when the store was finished.
There was always talk of a second one on the other end of Federal Street, right at Agganis Square. Now, it’s under construction.
Most people I know don’t like roundabouts, but I daresay that the one in Market Square made a huge difference in the traffic flow. If the new one is half as effective, it’ll still be an improvement. I’m forever playing “chicken” with cars coming in from Waterhill or Marion Streets as I try to get from Hibernian Hall, across the intersection, to the other portion of Federal.
It’ll look great when it’s done, I’m sure. For now, it looks like horses and covered wagons should be the preferred modes of transportation. And of course, it’s blocked off sometimes, too.
All is fine until I hit Central Avenue. There, the city is fixing traffic islands as it approaches Washington Street. There have been several complicated detours that somehow always keep me from where I need to go.
If it’s down Oxford Street, that’s closed. If it’s down lower Washington Street, that’s closed. If I try to think ahead and go up Munroe so I can then bypass a detour as I go down Oxford, wouldn’t you know that’s where the work is being done.
Uncle!
I’ve been stuck on Parkland Avenue on a Friday afternoon (with about 500 other cars) because of roadwork. There always seems to be something happening on Lynnfield Street that involves cones, or barrels, and trucks.
I know, I know. It’s New England. There’s only so much time you get to do these things. But gee whiz, guys, can you maybe check someone else’s itinerary next year? Please?
