So. Joseph Epstein of the Wall Street Journal doesn’t think that Dr. Jill Biden should use that honorific because, apparently, she isn’t a real doctor.
In what can only be described as a snotty, condescending piece in the paper last week, Epstein, an essayist and short-story writer, says Biden, the future First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS) should not go around calling herself a doctor because she’s not an M.D. She hasn’t delivered any babies, he said.
In addition, Epstein said the use of the word doctor, “sounds and feels fraudulent, not to say a touch comic.”
That’s funny enough. But what really made me laugh was that he addressed the future FLOTUS as “kiddo,” at the beginning of the piece. Hey, Bud. That’s my nickname.
Apropos of nothing, I earned that nickname in 1979 when I arrived at The Item as the youngest person in the newsroom. Tom Dalton called me “Kid Krause,” and Ted Grant (who, truth be told, is even younger than I am) shortened it to “Kiddo.” Here I am, 41 years later, and it still follows me around — even though I’m now the oldest person in the newsroom.
I have no idea what Epstein’s problem is, though I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that he is not a doctor of anything. The furthest he ever got in the educational chain is a bachelor of arts. Oh, he goes into some convoluted rap about how he taught at Northwestern and was always called Dr. Epstein, and he’d respond by saying something pithy like “Read two chapters of James Joyce and call me in the morning.” I’m sure he thinks he’s a riot.
What he is, however, is jealous. It must kill him, and people like him, to see anyone — especially a woman — having that honorific and having the unmitigated gall to use it.
For the record, Jill Biden is a doctor of education, meaning she earned a Ph.D. and did a dissertation and everything. But I guess Epstein didn’t think the future FLOTUS’ dissertation was worthy of his great esteem. You see, Dr. Biden’s title was “Student Retention at the Community College Level:
Meeting Students’ Needs.” I don’t know why that’s somehow unworthy, but I’m guessing insignificant community college students don’t rate very high in Epstein’s sphere of importance.
I guess that a BA and lifetime of writing short stories makes Joseph Epstein an expert on Ph.D. dissertations. Look, I have nothing against short-story writers. I wish I could spend my time doing that. I’ve been writing the same book since I was in my 30s (take my word, that’s a long time ago). But that hardly makes one qualified to judge the academic disciplines of writing a doctoral dissertation.
While I won’t go so far as to call Epstein’s remarks blatantly sexist, one could certainly be excused for thinking they are. However, there are plenty of men who achieve doctorates, too. Chances are good that your local school superintendent may have received a doctorate, just like Patrick Tutwiler, David DeRuosi or John Dolan (the Lynn and Saugus supers, and the St. Mary’s Head of School respectively). And — I’m sure — many, many more.
Joseph Epstein may think it’s ostentatious for Jill Biden to give herself her proper title, but, really, that’s more his problem than it is hers. She earned it. Epstein might not like the dissertation subject, but she wrote it. And she earned the distinction.
As far as I’m concerned, if you’ve received the degree, you have every right to use the title. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. But it ought to be your choice, not curmudgeons such as Joseph Epstein’s.
I wonder whether, if he was given the chance to rethink this, he’d have thought of something else to write about. I’d like to think so. But then again, anyone that bugged by education envy probably wouldn’t.