Life includes many rewarding experiences, but there are no more rewarding moments than when you see a young boy of about the age of 12 do a task and a chore with excellence.
As parents, you only have 12 years to influence your child, and the developmental age of 12 is the paramount time to develop your son’s highest assets and attributes, which will bring him tremendous success in his life.
The psychologist Erik Erikson defines a child’s psychosocial development into various stages. The stage of development of a 12-year-old is defined as industry versus inferiority; a child in this stage of development is looking to increase their sense of skill and acquisition.
During the industry-versus-inferiority stage, children become capable of performing increasingly complex tasks. As a result, they strive to master new skills. This is the stage where parents can make the most significant difference in the life of their son. Parents can help their children develop a capacity to work and cooperate with others. Children’s basic needs are met when caregivers help them to find their unique competencies.
Notably, children who are encouraged and commended by parents and teachers develop a feeling of competence and belief in their abilities. Those who receive little or no encouragement from parents, teachers, or peers will doubt their success ability. People who do not feel competent in their ability to succeed may be less likely to try new things and more likely to assume that their efforts will not measure up under scrutiny.
The best type of parenting to foster this development is identified as Authoritative Parenting. Children who experience this type of parenting have a higher social competence, a more remarkable ability to regulate emotions, the ability to excel independently, an increase in creativity and persistence, higher self-esteem, greater social confidence, more self-reliance, higher academic performance, and ability to demonstrate prosocial behavior. These parents explain, encourage, and discuss issues and acknowledge their young person’s perspectives.
The author Richard Weissbourd emphasizes that children need adults who appreciate them, and they also need those who model appreciation of others and direct guidance in attending to others, including those who may not be on their radar.
Children need adults who require them to be helpful, whether it is watching younger siblings, getting groceries for a neighbor, or performing routine household chores. Requiring children to be helpful not only builds caring skills; it makes attending to others reflexive (2009).
Ensure that your young person has gained the life skills to be a productive citizen in society. There are some simple things you can teach him, for example: to make his bed each day, to cook simple meals, to perform relatively easy outdoor maintenance of a home, teach him a skill ― do it with him and then let him do it independently ― teach him a craft, help him learn the value of hard work, honesty, being reliable, and the importance of being dependable.
Additionally, please help your child grow their passions. Ultimately, what you are trying to teach your son is the benefit of taking on responsibility. Another author, Jordan Peterson, asserts, “Life has meaning with responsibility. The more responsibility you take on, the more meaning your life has. We have to be more than we are because if we are not, we are not going to survive.”
Young boys who eventually become young men need meaning in their lives to help them navigate their purpose and their future. Teaching them to take on responsibility in your home and with their likely potential endeavors will ensure that their futures are full and meaningful. Remember, you only have 12 years to grow your child.
Dr. Maria Perez is a Lynn resident currently working as an adjunct professor in the Graduate of Education Program at Gordon College.
