Finding Mary: Turning troubling discoveries into positive paths

For 10 days I have told the story of my mother, Mary Francis Hunt Matthews, and my search for her biological parents. The new relatives I met along the way were helpful, willing to share, and in some cases, made this search their own. 

The ones living in South Carolina, in particular, treated us with love and understanding and continue to do so. My sisters and I appreciate all they have done and continue to do.

Our mother was abandoned as an infant, adopted and underwent verbal abuse and poor parenting from her adoptive mother, but broke that chain of misery and created, along with our father, Lester D. Matthews Jr., the loving family that we are today.

Mom believed in giving back. She was an active leader in her church, a member of the Lynn Women’s Club, taught classes on antiques at Salem State University, and was an active part of the Lynn Historical Society. She was proud that we, my three sisters and I, became teachers, a registered nurse, and an advocate for workers’ rights.

I dubbed my search, “Finding Mary,” in honor of my mom and discovered that where I really found her was in the day-in, day-out commitment to the search. My younger daughter Lauri was very close to her grandmother Mary. She was the one who bought me the genetic test that started my involvement in the ancestry search which was already started by my sister Frances and our mother. 

Although I have written these installments, they represent the work of all four siblings. Each installment was proofread, corrected for accuracy, and more importantly, reviewed by my sisters to ensure they accurately describe the gift of love and family our mom inspired. This is a fully collaborative family effort.

Although the title of this final installment references troubling discoveries, the overwhelming majority of what our search has uncovered was wonderful and in some cases, inspiring. 

Finding slave owners in our family’s history was troubling. If the current state of affairs in our country with the uptick of white nationalist violence was not occurring it would have been troubling enough. 

But look at Charlottesville, Va., where a white nationalist killed a woman and injured various other protestors as a part of the “Unite the Right” rally a few years ago. This was only one of many incidents reflecting a white-nationalist upsurge.

Mary Francis Hunt Matthews believed in citizenship and the right to vote for all. She worked for more than 10 years as a poll worker and encouraged our family to vote. If she was still with us, I am sure my mother would stand tall and confront threats made against poll workers, and she would not back away from this service in the face of threats and bullying. 

Our mom believed that problems have solutions. Her passion for citizenship and universal suffrage taught us to remember and appreciate the lessons she taught us.

She emphasized learning Lynn’s history and passing it on to the next generation, especially the city’s status as a bastion for abolitionists that I outlined in my fourth installment of “Finding Mary.”

It’s important to know where we come from and the huge sacrifices that were made by Lynn citizens for independence, freedom from slavery, universal suffrage and for the defeat of fascism. 

The seventh installment in this series dealt with slavery and freedom in Beaufort, S.C., and its connection to some of our ancestors. It underscores the fight for freedom and citizenship for African-American people.  

Billy Keyserling, the former 12-year mayor of Beaufort, graciously acted as our tour guide of the new Reconstruction Era National Park. He believes that in an increasing polarized country, sharing common ground is one important antidote.

I suggest reading Mayor Billy’s semi-autobiography “Sharing Common Ground: Promises Unfulfilled but Not Forgotten” (www.sharingcommonground.com), and learning about the nonprofit organization which he leads — The Second Founding of America.

His work emphasizes the Reconstruction Era National Historical Park’s (RENHP) and Reconstruction Era Historic Network’s (RENHN) value in teaching citizenship to middle-school students.

We can underscore these lessons to young people by teaching history and aggressively advocating civility and stressing the recognition that we share more in common than we differ. 

Reconstruction led to the creation of 90-plus independent schools teaching literacy and marketable work skills. Reconstruction saw the founding of six colleges and universities; the election of 2,000 African Americans to public office, and the construction of successful African-American-owned businesses.

Reconstruction saw, most importantly, the addition of the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments to the U.S. Constitution. 

The Second Founding of America, with our help, can become a model for teaching ourselves and the next generation on how our nation can move forward in fulfilling the sacred promises of freedom, justice, equality and opportunity.

But we all must get involved and, thankfully, there are many ways to lend a hand. History, social studies and arts teachers can sign up for workshops that will jumpstart  learning skills, and link them to a network of teachers across the country who will have access to easily accessible teaching resources.

That network, in turn, can share experiences in teaching experiential-based, arts-infused programs that address students’ interests and strengthen their understanding of citizenship while boosting their self-images.

We — so to speak — must also match our money with our mouths by supporting good work. For more information or to donate, contact Billy Keyserling, Second Founding of America, Post Office Box 2145, Beaufort, S.C. 29901-2145, email [email protected] or [email protected] or pick up the telephone and call Billy at 843-521-2600. He will answer.

To donate to the Second Founding of America (learn and donate), go to https://www.secondfoundingofamerica.org. 

To support the Reconstruction Era National Historical Park, visit https://www.nps.gov/reer/index.htm.

Last but not least: If you enjoyed “Finding Mary,” then here are some tips on genealogical research. 

To begin an ancestry search you will need to access one of the ancestry platforms. As these are for profit, I will not advocate for one or the other of these various sites. However, once you save your DNA test to one of these sites you can access the free service of Gedmatch.com and move your saved DNA results to this platform. Gedmatch includes a free service which lets you access those of your relatives who may have tested on other genetic-testing platforms.

If you show a strong match to a second cousin and are looking for biological parents or siblings, our experience with the Search Squad indicates they could be helpful in your search, as well. They do not charge for their assistance and they are accessed via their Facebook page.

I welcome your comments about this series and would be glad to hear about your genealogy search. I may be able to make a recommendation to whom you can reach out to for assistance.

You can reach me at [email protected] or by mail at 300 S Highland Springs #251, Banning, CA 92220-6504.

On behalf of myself and my sisters, thank you for reading “Finding Mary.”