Winter snuck into spring 25 years ago today and dumped a blizzard on the East Coast, and, not to be outdone, April 1, 2022 is seeing the region inundated with a news blizzard blanketing us with scintillating stories.
Here are a few, hot-off-the press samplings:
Lynn Mayor Jared C. Nicholson said the climax of summertime activities in the city will be a tightrope-walking contest spanning the top of Washington Street Baptist Church to the top of High Rock Tower. The Community Development Department is accepting applications.
Lynn City Councilor Wayne Lozzi has promised not to miss another vote and agreed to allow Dean of the Council Richard Colucci to slap him if he breaks his promise.
Lynnfield is so happy with the job Town Administrator Robert Dolan is doing that Town Meeting is considering a charter change to make the town a city with Dolan — Melrose’s former mayor — elevated to the corner office, and Pat Campbell serving in an honorary capacity.
Speaking of Town Meeting, Marblehead’s warrant includes a proposal to impose a commuter tax. Out-of-towners will be allowed to bring their tax bill twice a year to Abbot Hall and receive a discount coupon good at Shubie’s.
Nahant plans to reroute its street network to force visitors to the almost-island to drive around in circles until frustration prompts them to buy a house in town.
Peabody Mayor Ted Bettencourt has offered to let City Councilor-at-Large Anne Manning-Martin serve as mayor whenever he is on vacation in return for her not gunning for his job in the next municipal election.
Revere is negotiating with the state to re-impose parking meters on beachgoers who will be allowed to take their parking receipt to Kelly’s for 15 percent off a small roast-beef sandwich.
Saugus plans to approach the state Gaming Commission with a proposal to convert the financially-ailing Square One Mall into a slot parlor. Former School Committee member Arthur Grabowski is reportedly under consideration for the security chief job.
Swampscott plans to defray the cost of its new elementary school by seeking a corporate naming-rights sponsor. Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks are in hot contention for the sponsorship rights.
Editor’s note: The Item runs corrections when misinformation is printed in the newspaper. All of the above is misinformation — happy April Fool’s Day.
