In January of 2022, the Item featured a 10-part series that I authored with my sisters’ assistance called “Finding Mary”. This is the ongoing search for our mother Mary Frances Matthews’ biological family as related over an 11-day period of time in the Item.
This search led to me taking a trip to Maryland, Virginia, and South Carolina to meet relatives that we found on websites like Ancestry.com and 23andme.com.
As part of this search, we discovered, with the assistance of a Facebook group called Search Squad, who was our mother’s biological father. He was Charles Everette Kepley. During this first trip, I met descendants of that grandfather in Roanoke, Va. Charles Everette Kepley lived in Roanoke, Va. for 40 years of his life and worshiped at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church.
We did not find, however, who our mom’s biological mom was, even though we searched at least as diligently for that answer. My mom’s biological family must be from South Carolina as we show scores of relatives that would be related to her, in particular from counties along the Georgia state line. Think of cotton plantations and swamps and a long history, including the institution of slavery and devastation from the Civil War. Also, I visited Columbia, S.C. and went to visit the Department of Health and Environmental Controls, which is the state agency in South Carolina that keeps birth and other such vital statistics. I was treated rudely there by the agent who spoke with me. That agent said that if I “wanted my mom’s birth record, then just sue us.” As I turned to leave discouraged, I noticed a guard of about 6 feet, 5 inches looming over me. I had not been loud or inappropriate, so I was dumbfounded why I was received that way.
My at-that-time recently discovered cousin Margaret, from Columbia, S.C., and her equally wonderful husband Joseph were appalled by this treatment and pledged to find more understanding staff in DHEC to resolve this issue. They urged me to come back and stay with them once they helped move this to a solution.
A very troubling fact came to light as part of our overall search and part of that long history was the fact that some biological ancestors enslaved African-American people. It was shocking to us as a family to uncover this history. We were determined to address this ancestry.
Upon “Finding Mary” being featured in the Item, some readers suggested that I reach out to the Grand Army of the Republic Museum and that I should find a way to help raise funds to support them, seeing that the Civil War and the fight for freedom seemed to be areas of interest to me and my family. Thor Jourgensen, who was an editor of the Item at that time, provided me with the phone number of the GAR curator, Wendy Joseph, who I called. In a short time, Wendy suggested reaching out to the executive director of Lynn Museum/Lynn Arts, Doneeca Thurston. We set up a zoom call and discussed working on an historic event that focused on the issue of defending democracy. This was the birth of the Defending Democracy event that, after well over a year of planning, took place on Oct. 4.
In his retirement comments, Thor stated that Doneeca and Wendy are great assets to the city’s community. He was right on the money!
I learned a lot from Wendy and Doneeca! Among the things I learned came from my repeated use of the term “slave owners” to describe some of my ancestors on my mom’s side of the family. Doneeca corrected me and said the correct term is enslavers! The evil that was done to African-Americans was enslaving human beings.
Dr. Cynthia Alease Smith wrote the enlightening document “Slave and Slavery vs. The Enslavement and Enslaved Person- Emancipating Semantics.” In it, she shares information from how the National Park Service is trying to change to a more accurate description of slavery as follows from the humanity of those enslaved: “A commonly used term to describe an enslaved African-American, but one that suggest that the individual’s identity was more fundamentally as property than as a human. It can also suggest that the person accepted their enslavement as a definition of their own identity. Additionally, it leaves out the presence of an enslaving individual or group whose ability of enforcement through violence backed the system of slavery. The National Park Service uses ‘slave’ only when necessary, in a historical context as part of a quote, preferring ‘enslaved person’ as a more descriptive, complete choice.” Therefore, enslaver, not slave-owner, is correct.
During the Defending Democracy event, the living historian in the role of Frederick Douglass related some of the brutality of such enslavement. He recalled that as a boy of 5 years old, his mother was taken from him and then several years later his grandmother was also taken from him. Then as a young child, he was given to a Baltimore family to continue this enslavement process. There was an emotional response to the humanity that Frederick Douglass faced with such brutality of enslavement from those in attendance.
Unfortunately, there continue to be defenders of enslavement. In the 10-part series, one such person about whom I wrote is my cousin Bobbi Jo from Charleston, S.C. and Beaufort, S.C. She repeatedly insisted that “we were good to our slaves and that they liked us.” Misguided would be a kinder term than warranted for someone spewing these lies. Most people I met in my visits to South Carolina do not share Bobbi Jo’s views. I have found too many people outside of the South who share racist views that would align with the poison Bobbi Jo spews.
Democracy and its defense are an important part of the answer to moving forward from the awful institution of slavery and part of the needed pushback against those who still support it. From many comments about this Defending Democracy event, it seemed that this event was considered a contribution to this important effort.
Meanwhile, while Doneeca, Wendy, and I worked on the planning for this event, my wonderful cousin Margaret, in Columbia S.C., continued her efforts to identify someone in DHEC that could help me view my mom’s original birth record. (We had previously gotten her birth records, which had been modified by adoption. This modified document had been gotten by my sister Frances.)
I am sure that every gathering that my cousin Margaret went to, like family gatherings, dinners with friends, church events, and other times, were occasions for Margaret to ask if anyone knew a DHEC person who could help. Her dedicated persistence was rewarded! Finally she got a response that was ”Yes, I know someone in DHEC and hopefully they can help.” That person ironically turned out to be the son of Margaret’s ex-pastor. A better contact could not be found. This gentleman was very clear what legally he could do and what he could not do. I was moved by his humanity concerning our search. He suggested that we still needed an attorney and recommended a couple of people from family law practices. I called them both and decided on one attorney who seemed to have the most cases at least close enough to what our search was. Both our DHEC contact and this attorney took a mere two months to convince the judge handling this issue to succeed in getting an order allowing me to view my mom’s original birth record. Please understand that per South Carolina laws on this matter, I would not get a copy and could not take a photo of this record. I would be allowed to take notes.
Upon the conclusion of the Defending Democracy event, I headed to South Carolina.
I then traveled to Columbia, S.C. As before, my cousin Margaret and her husband, Joseph, kindly offered to let me stay at their home. I accepted.
On Monday, Oct. 9, I was scheduled to view my mom’s original birth record at 2 p.m. on 2600 Bull St., Columbia, S.C. As the day got closer and the hour drew near I was nervous and had butterflies in my stomach, which was not typical for me. I would see this record for my family and most likely, no one in our family had seen this document since its creation in 1927!
Upon arriving at DHEC, this kind staff-member came to meet me face-to-face for the first time. I was made to feel welcome and respected. A human being with a heart and soul was doing all they could to bring my sisters and I some closure!
A few minutes later another DHEC staffer came to usher me into a room to view the record. She reiterated that I could not make a copy and not take a photo with my phone of any of the records that I would see. I was allowed to take notes. I told her I would of course comply with these conditions and thanked her. She then handed me the folder with the record. It contained two documents.
The first document was the birth record. It showed my mom’s original name as Mary Frances Ashley. It said unknown for both parents? I was puzzled. I was told I would not get the names of the birth parents, but thought that meant the names would be blocked out. But instead, it said unknown?
The second document was a narrative from Judge Willliam H. Grimball of the 9th Circuit Court, who handled my mom’s adoption to A. Claire and Edward J. Hunt — my mom’s adoptive parents.
Sometime during the night of March 24 and the morning of March 25, 1927 the narrative continued, a one-day old baby was found on the steps of St Francis Xavier Infirmary in Charleston, S.C. by Sister Bernardine. That baby was our mother, Mary, had been found.
At first, I was devastated. I imagined a one-day-old baby, my mom, out in the night, left to her destiny. Noticing my reaction, this kind DHEC staffer came over to speak to me. She had reviewed the record and knew what it said. She shared with me that she understood how difficult this revelation was. She then told me that she and her mom discovered two months before her mom’s death that her mom had also been adopted. Human compassion is powerful.
After talking with my sisters and my daughter I hope that I can see this in a different light. First, the Catholic Sisters who cared for my mom for the first three months of her life were the best caregivers with whom she could have been left!
The Catholic Sisters who took my mother in as an infant christened her and named her Mary Frances Ashley. Was it Mary for the mother of God, Frances for the name of the hospital, and Ashley as in the street address of this hospital?
In those days women with children born out of wedlock were often shunned and treated with cruelty. Perhaps the mom knew she could not care for the baby and that this was for the best.
As we have shared before and now again, “Finding Mary” has been more for us than getting birth answers and names of biological parents. Our mom grew, in spite of the odds against her, to be a tower of strength as a mother. She was an active leader in her church and a person who took on responsibilities in the Lynn community where she lived for all but the first three months of her life. Mary is found in the strength and unity of our family and by the unconditional love between us. Mary is found every day in us.
Names of living relatives mentioned in this story were changed to protect their privacy.
To read the full series, visit itemlive.com/series/finding-mary/
To read about Defending Democracy visit itemlive.com/2023/03/05/a-family-search-leads-to-a-loftier-goal-defending-democracy/