Ryan Vermette

He says more

Let me preface this by stating that I am a total college basketball nerd. I study, read, and listen to podcasts about the sport pretty much on a daily basis. I’m even subscribed to a website that ranks teams and predicts matchups based on statistics every day.

So yes, I’m a bit biased. But I’m also right that March Madness is an event for everyone, regardless of whether they like basketball or not. Here’s why it’s the best sporting event in the world and why you should care about it.

It’s hard to put into writing how bewildering March Madness is. Seriously, just go look up best March Madness moments on YouTube. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

But that’s my point, or one of them. The stuff that happens, the buzzer beaters, the comebacks, the Cinderella upsets — you simply could not make the situations up in your head if you tried.

Let me give you a few examples. This year, there was a coach who was fired by his school at the end of the regular season, as it looked like his team wouldn’t be making the tournament. However, if a school wins its conference tournament, it automatically qualifies, no matter how good or bad the team is. Well, they improbably went all the way in their conference tourney and qualified for the big dance, with a coach who had technically been fired.

There is another similar situation this year as well. North Carolina State is in the Final Four, except they aren’t even supposed to be there. The Wolfpack was another team destined to miss March Madness due to their poor record, but a last second heave by one of their players banked off the glass from the 3-point line as time expired to send them to overtime against Virginia in the ACC tournament. They only had that chance after Virginia missed a free throw. NC State won in overtime, and then proceeded to win the ACC and make the tournament as a double-digit seed. And they are now in the Final Four. Talk about a butterfly effect.

NC State now also has one of the most entertaining players in the sport, who has risen to stardom in the last several weeks. DJ Burns Jr. has become a fan favorite, and for good reason.

And let’s not forget a few years ago, when Sister Jean became an icon after Loyola Chicago’s magical run to the Final Four, which involved a few prayers being answered at the end of multiple heart-stopping games.

I love this sport because it’s more than just a game being played, and more than just people bouncing a ball up and down the court. If you don’t watch March Madness, just look up everything I explained above online and I promise you will understand.

Also, what other sport has millions of people filling out a 64-team bracket every year? You can’t find it anywhere else.

Expanding on that, it’s one of the only tournaments where you don’t have to know a single thing about it.

I make my family fill out a bracket each year, with the winner getting an ice cream from our favorite ice cream stand just down the road.

This year, my sister, who has not watched a lick of college basketball in her life, correctly predicted two of the teams that made the Final Four.

My mom, who is in the same boat as my sister, picked NC State to go to the Elite Eight.

Meanwhile, I only got one Final Four team correct. Thanks, UConn. But that just goes to show that anyone can make a bracket, and get some wild picks right, while someone who practically watches the sport for a living can screw up big time, which makes it ironic and fun.

Making brackets can also be a community event. It’s a conversation starter, it’s an activity to bond over, it’s something silly and lighthearted to do with coworkers, family, and friends.

One of the best parts is that everyone is trying to make a perfect bracket, though the odds are literally 1 in 9.2 quintillion (no, I didn’t make that up), and it will in all likelihood never happen. But nonetheless, it’s still fun to try.

So, you don’t have to be overly obsessed with it like I am. Heck, I probably haven’t convinced some of you to even care. But I hope you can at least acknowledge and respect the beauty and perfect imperfection that is March Madness.

Sidnee Short

She says bore

If March Madness has one hater, it’s me. If March Madness has no haters… I’m dead.

I’m just kidding. I don’t hate March Madness, I just don’t care. At all. Not one iota of concern for the orange and black ball bounced around by college students runs through my veins.

I think it’s important to have hobbies, and I’m glad that people are able to sit on their couch and acquire one in March.

I just can’t imagine wasting hours and days of my life watching people run around on a shiny court, with the sole objective of tossing a ball into a macrame circle.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the thrill of a high-stakes competition. I actually won a school-wide limbo contest in kindergarten. I remember the buzz of walking onstage and seeing the reflection of a winner in the golden shine of my very own 4-inch-tall plastic gauntlet, grasped in my hands. To this day, it’s my mom’s favorite pen holder.

But, that was a real sport.

Now, back to March Madness. Here’s a list of things I think would be far more interesting to tune into during the month of March:

• Danny DeVito painting a wall.
• Danny DeVito watching the paint on the wall dry.
• An ant walking up a hill.
• An ant then walking down said hill.
• Chess, but the players are dogs, and the program doesn’t end until one of them wins properly.

Also, let’s talk about betting. I enjoy a decent bet. I enjoy a decent penny slot machine. But, what I don’t enjoy is basketball betting. Why? I don’t care about basketball, I guess I already told you that.

I’d rather take my money to the Greater Lynn Senior Services and bet on which grandma could crochet a hat the fastest.

Spoiler alert: None of them can do it as fast as me.

I also understand the camaraderie that watching sports brings. You get to go out with your friends, grab some wings, have a beer or five, and yell at the screen when a player does something you did or didn’t want to happen. It’s thrilling, I’m sure.

But, my guess is that none of you who do that know about the “RuPaul’s Drag Race” viewing parties. If you did, you wouldn’t be at a sports bar watching basketball, trust me. “Drag Race” has humor, lip-syncing, costumes, games, modeling, competition, and one of the best catchphrases television has ever had to offer: “Gentlemen, start your engines! And may the best woman win!”

What does basketball have? Balls? So does “Drag Race.”

Recently, I heard against my will that the Final Four is here. I won’t be watching (shocker). But, it got me thinking, what would it take for me to actually watch? Who are my Final Four?

So, much anticipated from the last sentence you read, my Final Four are: One Direction, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Golden Girls, and the Obama family.

Now that would be a tournament I wouldn’t want to miss out on. And the prize? My kindergarten limbo trophy.