My name is Sidnee, and I’m a shopaholic.
I was doing some chores around my apartment the other day and realized I needed to pick up a few cleaning supplies.
I opened my notes app on my phone and typed out what I needed: Clorox wipes, multi-surface cleaner, and dish sponges.
I grabbed a basket, saw the swimwear at the front of the store, put the basket back, and got a cart.
I roamed the swimwear section for a solid 10 minutes before calling my little sister.
“Tell me that I don’t need a new swimsuit,” I said the second she picked up.
“You don’t need a new swimsuit,” she immediately responded.
“But, Boo Boo! There’s a purple one that would make my pasty skin pop!”
She continued to remind me that I have bills to pay and I came to get cleaning supplies. I continued to add items to my cart.
I prayed to Bullseye the Target dog that the swimsuits wouldn’t fit me, or that there would be an absurd line to get to the dressing rooms. My patience is worse than my inability to maintain self-control in a department store.
As luck would have it, there was not one person in front of me in line. On a Saturday afternoon. In one of the busiest Targets I had ever gone to.
I tried on about five swimsuits and hated them all. I was ecstatic. I tried on one swimsuit coverup and it fit like a glove. But, I found the strength to walk away. If I didn’t have a new swimsuit to cover up, what was even the point?
I finally made it over to the cleaning supplies and, obviously, got more than I needed. I’m a marketing manager’s dream.
If there’s a catchy tagline or aesthetically pleasing packaging, it’s going into my cart.
I bought enough cleaning supplies for a hotel.
I walked out of the store proud I had overcome my addictive tendencies. I had only purchased what I came there for.
I drove away as delusional as ever, with my car vents blowing out the wonderful aroma of my brand-new car-air freshener.
Shopping without a cause runs in my family. And, honestly, it’s one of the better ailments. We could have a peanut allergy.
When I lived at home, I would lie to my older sister about going to the store so she wouldn’t ask to go with me.
Saidee is worse than me when it comes to buying things she absolutely doesn’t need, and she’s fantastic at influencing me.
If we go shopping together, no well-designed display shelf is safe.
So, for those of you who can’t go grocery shopping without grabbing a sweet treat, can’t go to Target without grabbing a clothing item you already own in a different color, or “accidentally” drive by a Barnes & Noble and end up looming around the Buy One, Get One 50% tables; know that you’re not alone. And, if you give me a call ahead of time, we can shop together.
