Did you know that at least one in four girls and one in 20 boys experience child sexual abuse before the age of 18?
The facts aren’t pretty, but they come straight from studies conducted by the Centers for Disease Control. On top of that, roughly 90% of abuse is perpetrated by someone known or trusted by the child or the child’s family member.
It is undoubtedly one of the ugliest topics ever put to print — but it must be said.
For the victims, experiencing abuse can affect everything from how a person feels, thinks, and acts to the very bedrock of their psyche. Depression, suicidal tendencies, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are just some of the serious consequences faced by survivors.
Speaking of PTSD — as trivial as it might sound — I can’t walk past a Build-A-Bear Workshop in the mall without experiencing an internal panic due to the memories it brings back of someone I’ll never name. But I’m getting better, and if I don’t say it now, I’m not sure that I ever will.
Being abused in that way doesn’t just isolate the victim or flood their minds with feelings of self-loathing and anxiety. It sits like a rock in the pits of their stomachs until it calcifies inside, like a tumor.
Most children wait to report the crime, or never even speak of it at all. According to the Indiana Center for Prevention of Youth Abuse and Suicide, roughly 85% of child abuse victims never report their abuse. The center also states that children who keep it a secret, or who tell someone but were not believed are at a greater risk for psychological, emotional, social and physical problems that often last into adulthood.
The same source also emphasized that an estimated 42 million survivors of abuse exist in America today.
Have you had a second to let that sink in? Forty-two million.
Technology and social media have greatly exasperated the situation. The unfortunate truth is that predators have rooted themselves deeply into the digital worlds we communicate through daily. Apps such as Telegram, Snapchat and even Roblox — a popular online game for kids — have all consistently seen their platforms manipulated by people preying upon children’s innocence.
It’s dark, disgusting, and nearly impossible to digest, yet it’s happening right under our noses. And now it’s mushroomed into a problem that no one knows how to properly handle.
How do you talk about the worst thing that ever happened to you? How do you try and make sense of something that was utterly senseless?
That’s when the victims find themselves in a living paradox. They have voices, but they don’t know how to speak up. The fact is, there is no easy way to lightly approach the situation. You have to kick the doors down, rip all the Band-Aids off — but above all, victims need a platform of support and outreach. When they don’t speak up, they’re just more faces in a crowd.
This applies to both sides of this awful spectrum. The truth of that often the enemy is indistinguishable from people encountered every day. There’s no neon sign above someone’s head that reads: “MONSTER, AVOID AT ALL COSTS.”
Instead, they look like your mail carriers, neighbors, inconspicuous strangers buying eggs and milk at your local grocery store. Unfortunately, they often know exactly how to blend in with the crowd. They resemble your friends, familiar faces everyone thinks could never even hurt anyone.
They’re the faces you might never look at twice — But that’s exactly the point.
With 90% of abusers being friends or relatives of their victims, this must be reiterated. Predators know how to disarm every paranoid inkling, how to squash any possibility of detecting their darker side. Like sharks, they go unnoticed until it’s far too late.
Indeed, it’s one of the few things my mind can’t fully grasp, at least not meaningful. The only sane thing left to do is act as a messenger for this awful topic — to do my job and spread the word, if only to create greater communal awareness. These are America’s children we’re talking about — our siblings, sons and daughters, mothers and fathers. This is an issue that’s bigger than us.
If that’s not ugly enough, consider this: since only about 38% of cases are ultimately reported, most offenders slip under the radar and face no consequences. It shouldn’t have to be said that a parent’s greatest priority is protecting the well-being of their child — and yet, here we are.
This problem won’t disappear within any of our lifetimes. Despite vigilance and proactivity, the problem remains because we’ll never fully understand the minds of those who chose to continue the cycle.
