To the editor:
With the help of Republicans (minus two), Trump’s beautiful bill has been signed into law.
After House Speaker Johnson slammed down the gavel, Republicans were all shaking hands and applauding, having just thrown the neediest families under the bus. Once they left the chamber, my assumption is they all went down the tunnel for their Fourth of July celebration.
I can see it now: Speaker Johnson leading the pack, holding the gavel high and reciting, “Who is your daddy?” Republicans reply, “Trump’s my daddy!” Say it again: “Trump’s my daddy!” I cannot hear you! “TRUMP IS MY DADDY!”
The chef rings the dinner bell: “Come and get it, come and get it!” The stampede to the chow line almost caused a riot, as many of them likely missed a meal or two.
Order was restored as Trump’s voice came over the intercom: “Do not worry. If we run out of food, all who have not had their fill will receive a gift card that can be used at any fast-food establishment, not to exceed $15.”
“Trump, do I hear some discontent amongst you?”
“No? Good. What do you think I am, a millionaire?”
OK, let me cut to the chase. Those of you up for re-election next year will not have a snowball’s chance in the desert of getting re-elected.
You might take the advice that our Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem gives to undocumented immigrants: You can leave now with the possibility of returning. That is an option for you, something to think about.
Some Republicans were on the fence about whether to vote yes or no. Those who were persuaded to come around beg the question: Why?
We know that Alaska Sen. Lisa Murkowski received something favorable for her state, while the heck with the others.
I recall seeing her asked by a reporter why she voted yes. If you saw the clip, it was a deer-in-the-headlights moment, her head slightly tilted back, complete silence. The reporter said, “I’m waiting for your response.”
She answered in a low voice, something to the effect of, “My job is to help the people of Alaska.”
Now, what about all the other holdouts?
You may think we are all stupid, but I have news for you: We are not.
What was it that made you change your mind? Was there a Trump scratch ticket with several prizes?
Let me think: a lifetime membership to Mar-a-Lago, or to one of his golf courses; a pick of anything from the Trump store; or maybe his new fragrance. Get a picture of a crown, win all prizes shown.
Once the votes are in, AI robots with facial recognition will be cleaning out your offices. You will be chosen based on seniority. Take your personal items, but leave the rest, as it is government property.
Now, make yourselves useful. Go out and get a real job, and stop living off the working people’s taxes.
L. Robert Nadeau
Lynn
