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Social distancing presenting a challenge for grandparents
By Steve Krause | April 16, 2020
Candace Santoro says she feels isolated without being able to hold her first grandchild.
Jim and Kristen Beliveau do what they can to see their new grandson either by FaceTiming or by drive-by visits where they travel from Lynn to Georgetown, just to get a fleeting glimpse.
Tom and Wilma Dalton won’t be getting to Stamford, Conn., to see their new granddaughter anytime soon, but thanks to modern technology they can see Sloane Victoria Dalton every day.
And Susan Conti waits for her oldest son and daughter-in-law — Stuart and Jessie — to deliver their baby. Jessie is due Monday.
“This is all very surreal,” said Santoro, who grew up in Saugus but now lives in Middleton. “It’s like he’s not here, because I haven’t held him yet.
“This is supposed to be such a joyful time,” she said. “Instead, it’s so isolating. I don’t know. It’s exciting, but I have to hold on until I can (hold her grandson).”
And as the reality of longtime social distancing as the result of the COVID-19 crisis sets in, it’s harder on everybody.
“My daughter (Santoro declined to identify either her daughter or grandson) is isolated too,” she said. “She’s home (in Saugus) with the baby, and she wants her mother to help her, and I can’t. It won’t be real until I have him in my arms.”
And who knows when that will be? That’s the No. 1 question on the minds of all grandparents experiencing the ache of not having human contact with their grandchildren.
Cameron Beliveau was born in January and because he was only three pounds, spent the first few weeks of his life in an incubator. When he was healthy enough to go home to Georgetown, his grandparents left for a vacation in Florida. While they were down there, the COVID crisis exploded, and by the time they got back they self-quarantined for two weeks. That segued into the general social distancing situation we have now.
“I’m happy and disappointed at the same time,” Jim Beliveau said. “I’m happy he’s home. And he’s in good hands with his mom and dad. But we can’t hold him.
“I put on Facebook that the first thing we’re going to do when this is over is go see him and hold him.”
His wife, Kristen, has even more separation blues. She babysits Cameron’s brother, Mason, three times a week.
“I’m used to having him,” she said, “and we’re all cooped up now. Still, we’re happy to be healthy. Grandchildren are everything, especially when one’s just been born.
“It’s hard not to be around them,” she said.
The same goes for Tom and Wilma Dalton of Lynnfield.
“We won’t be able to see (Sloane) for a few months,” he said. “Not only are they far away, but they’re in Stamford, which is in one of the worst places for (the coronavirus).
“But (son Robert and daughter-in-law Jaime) have been great,” he said. “They send us texts every day, and we’ve been able to FaceTime.”
The Daltons have grandchildren who are closer — in Reading — and even though they can’t interact because of the six feet rule, they’ve been able to get around it a few times.
“Wilma’s birthday was Tuesday, and they all came down with ice cream, and we sat in our driveway, six feet apart, and had it,” Tom Dalton said. “So that was nice.”
So, he said, “we’ve virtually held her a few times. Maybe someday we’ll see her in person. Probably her high school graduation.”
“It’s trying,” admitted Wilma Dalton. “We love the pictures. I love babies and kids.
“But who knows how many months this is going to last,” she said. “One of these days …”
Conti’s son and daughter-in-law are due to deliver their baby Monday. And since the two families live close together, they’ll be able to do more than see each other virtually.
“They have a nice, sliding back door,” she said. “I’ll be able to walk over there and at least get a glimpse.”
But it’s not the same as feeling the baby in her arms.
“It’s very upsetting,” she said. “I’m nervous for them right now.”
Since her son is a Lynn firefighter, there’s the issue of whether he can even be there for the birth.
“He had to stop working two weeks ago,” she said. “He’s afraid to go to the store, even. They’re in their house all day, except for when they walk around the block twice a day.”